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Sunday, December 5, 2010

I aspired to pass every single test possible, and get the highest rank one could possibly attain in his/her NPCC life.

Guess this will never come true.

I started out as a Cadet.

Passed my LCP and CPL CAPE.

Here comes the problem.

Apparently, I failed my fucking SGT CAPE 2 fucking times. I don't give a fuck about my language in this blog anymore. I post whatever the fuck I want to. I don't give a damn whether CIs or squadmates or cadets saw or read this post.

1st time:
I passed all components... except for one. Attendance.
Well apparently, I WAS FUCKING SICK AND I FUCKING PASSED UP MY FUCKING MC AND I WAS STILL MARKED AS AN X. Dear Peng Ning Sir helped me and appealed on my behalf. It did not work out. I still failed. Well, fuck that. I'll try again. That's what I told myself.

2nd time:
I passed all components... except for one. or maybe two. I DID NOT RECEIVE BACK MY FUCKING SCORESHEET. Fuck. So I did not know. Well, I do know that I failed my Rifle parts component though. The one where I had to memorise and spit out 20 rifle parts to the examiner. Screw this shit. THEY DID NOT FUCKING STANDARDISE THE INFORMATION THEY FUCKING GAVE TO THEIR CADETS. They gave 2 different Pictures. With different parts. 50 % chance. I memorised the wrong diagram, and ended up failing the component because they only accept the answers from the OTHER diagram. So Fuck this. This was still not the end. The CIs fucking thought that I did not put in fucking effort. FUCK THIS SHIT. EFFORT?! I memorised the OTHER diagram, they did not accept my answer. That's their definition of not putting in effort. So this was how I failed my second SGT CAPE.

The 3rd time will be in Jan 2011.

By then, If I passed, I will be a SGT. While my friends will be S/SGT. FUCK THAT SHIT.

That's not the worse part.
Well, I'm the same rank as my juniors. Isn't that awesome. How's that for a failure.

Not only that, SPF NPCC Nomination, The badge that I have always wanted since Secondary 1. Is not going to be mine. Minimum Requirement: S/SGT
FUCK THAT. So, they are conducting a FUCKING RE-CAPE for the SGT because right now there are only 2 S/SGT. YAY. WOW. how about the loner, me. I'm ignored.

So there goes my fucking chance to get the SPF NPCC badge.
yay me.

That's not all.

AFTER I FUCKING FAILED SGT CAPE TWO TIMES.

THE CIS DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING

1)STANDARDISE ALL INFORMATION THEY SEND TO CADETS
FUCK THAT. IF YOU HAD DONE THAT EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE PASSED MY SGT CAPE

2)MAKE AMENDMENTS TO THE REQUIREMENT OF PASSING CAPE
FUCK THAT. IF YOU HAD DONE THAT EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE PASSED MY SGT CAPE

3) Not really something they did after I failed SGT CAPE twice. but nonetheless, It needs to be mentioned

FUCKING TOLD ME OFF BECAUSE OF MY ADMIN SKILLS. WELL IT'S LOUSY ALRIGHT, BUT IT DID NOT COST ANYBODY ANYTHING.
BUT THE FUCKING X ON MY ATTENDANCE LIST WAS AN ADMIN ERROR AND BECAUSE THEY DID NOT RECEIVE MY MC WHEN I DID PASS IT TO THEM, MEANS THAT THEY CAN JUST PUT AN X ON MY ATTENDANCE. WELL FUCK THAT. THIS ADMIN ERROR COSTED ME MY FUCKING SGT RANK FOR A FUCKING YEAR, AND SCREWED MY CHANCES OF BECOMING A S/SGT BEFORE I PASSED OUT AND FUCKED ME UP BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHANCE TO GET THE SPF NPCC BADGE EVER FUCKING AGAIN.

FUCK.


Blogged @ 1:14 AM
Don't let me go -


Once again, I have the same old sinking feeling in my heart. It hurts, no doubt, but there is nothing much I can do about it. I really wonder what's the point of this. Why am I still holding on to this thing. Might as well give up. From the moment my parents convinced me that it was the right choice to put NPCC as my top choice as a cca, I have never regretted it. Till recently, well, that is, starting from 2010 June onwards. That was when everything went in a downwards spiral. First, It was PIR. I screwed it up badly, I suppose. Not blaming Mr Tan, but he made the CIs make sure that Darren and I would never have a chance to be in the 'big 4' position. At that time I had the same old sinking feeling in my heart. But now, I have gotten over it. I am even glad that that happened. Then when the results came out, I was rather happy. I got the role of Weapons Training Field Instructor, Secondary Three Squad NCO and Head, Publications Department. I couldn't ask for more.

But alas, unlike a fairytale story where everything ends perfectly, in the case of my story, or life. It did not. Apparently, CIs think that I'm not up to the standard of becoming an NCO. So, I was just a stand-in NCO. I couldn't say how sad I was. But it wasn't long before I ranted about it online. And since walls have ears, or in this scenario, anything put online is open to the public eye. CIs saw my rant. And this was when I had a little chat with one of the CI. Yay. So he encouraged me, told me not to give up, bla bla bla. Shortly after, another CI talked to me again. Telling me to be strong etc. bla bla bla. Same old tale. Well, to be honest, I cried quite a few times. Okay, correction, not just a few times, a lot of times. But anyway, back to the point, I felt the exact same sinking feeling that I'm feeling right now as I am typing out this post. And believe me, this feeling affects me more than anything I could imagine. The sinking feeling stayed in my heart for like, the entire month after the event happened. The event of me, not making it to a NCO position, that is.

So I was told that my actions will be monitored. Every. Single. Action. Will. Be. Monitored. Yay me. But I still did not give up. I still had the passion in me.

Let's just say things went pretty well from then on. When I say pretty well, I meant, I manage to save myself from certain CIs' wraith of fury. Managed to NOT get another 'demotion'

You can probably guess where is all this going. Well, I managed to not incur the wraith of the CIs until now. (: I'm SOOOO happy.

So here's the deal. Apparently, by not attending some PT regime, I have subjected myself, my soon to be ex-Exco, and my Unit in danger. Grave danger. Apparently, they think that I'm skipping the PT sessions. Yay me. Here's my side of the story.

Once upon a time, somebody, let's just say his name was Scott. Scott asked me, well apparently I am the squad messenger. Volunteered myself to send SMSes to like 40+ people. Every single time our squad needs to be notified of something. Can't believe I did that. Scott asked me to ask my squad about their 'calculated' NAPFA results. Well, he have to collate the data for a certain CI, you see. So I said, I got bronze. Tada the next thing I know, "All cadets who got bronze will have to attend a PT training session twice weekly during the November/December holidays' Oh no. I'm in it. Well, a few days past. I received my report book. First thing I checked, napfa results. I got a N/A. So, I went to ask Scott, "hey, do people who got N/A as a napfa result have to go for the PT sessions?" Nope was the reply. Okay.. So, I did not attend the PT sessions, as I had a N/A in my report book. Well, they collated the list with the names BEFORE the report book was out, that means, the list of people who were chosen to go to PT sessions were chosen based on what their 'calculated' results were. So, I was in that list. But I did not turn up.

Part 2:
I was in the list. I did not turn up. CIs were mad at me. yay. and now, here's the deal. If Scott can't give a good enough reason to one particular CI, I will be STRIPPED. of my position as a stand-in NCO. Yay me. and other than that, I will be suspended of my position as a head of publications department. Awesome isn't it? For somebody who have put so much effort into the CCA he likes, He's like the guy who gets treated the worst.

That's my rant for now. I mean, the reason behind the sinking feeling I have in my heart right now. Another thing though, If you chanced upon this blog, and you have been bored enough to read this entire chunk of rant from me, leave a comment in the tagboard. I would like to hear from you. Oh and PS: I'm risking myself. If any, and I do mean any, CIs manage to find out about this post, I will be more dead than a dead man I am now already. (: Cheers to you Blog.

Blogged @ 12:45 AM
Don't let me go -