- Life's a Dream. Get on with it. ;

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I aspired to pass every single test possible, and get the highest rank one could possibly attain in his/her NPCC life.

Guess this will never come true.

I started out as a Cadet.

Passed my LCP and CPL CAPE.

Here comes the problem.

Apparently, I failed my fucking SGT CAPE 2 fucking times. I don't give a fuck about my language in this blog anymore. I post whatever the fuck I want to. I don't give a damn whether CIs or squadmates or cadets saw or read this post.

1st time:

I passed all components... except for one. Attendance.

Well apparently, I WAS FUCKING SICK AND I FUCKING PASSED UP MY FUCKING MC AND I WAS STILL MARKED AS AN X. Dear Peng Ning Sir helped me and appealed on my behalf. It did not work out. I still failed. Well, fuck that. I'll try again. That's what I told myself.

2nd time:

I passed all components... except for one. or maybe two. I DID NOT RECEIVE BACK MY FUCKING SCORESHEET. Fuck. So I did not know. Well, I do know that I failed my Rifle parts component though. The one where I had to memorise and spit out 20 rifle parts to the examiner. Screw this shit. THEY DID NOT FUCKING STANDARDISE THE INFORMATION THEY FUCKING GAVE TO THEIR CADETS. They gave 2 different Pictures. With different parts. 50 % chance. I memorised the wrong diagram, and ended up failing the component because they only accept the answers from the OTHER diagram. So Fuck this. This was still not the end. The CIs fucking thought that I did not put in fucking effort. FUCK THIS SHIT. EFFORT?! I memorised the OTHER diagram, they did not accept my answer. That's their definition of not putting in effort. So this was how I failed my second SGT CAPE.

The 3rd time will be in Jan 2011.

By then, If I passed, I will be a SGT. While my friends will be S/SGT. FUCK THAT SHIT.

That's not the worse part.

Well, I'm the same rank as my juniors. Isn't that awesome. How's that for a failure.

Not only that, SPF NPCC Nomination, The badge that I have always wanted since Secondary 1. Is not going to be mine. Minimum Requirement: S/SGT

FUCK THAT. So, they are conducting a FUCKING RE-CAPE for the SGT because right now there are only 2 S/SGT. YAY. WOW. how about the loner, me. I'm ignored.

So there goes my fucking chance to get the SPF NPCC badge.

yay me.

That's not all.

AFTER I FUCKING FAILED SGT CAPE TWO TIMES.

THE CIS DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING

1)STANDARDISE ALL INFORMATION THEY SEND TO CADETS

FUCK THAT. IF YOU HAD DONE THAT EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE PASSED MY SGT CAPE

2)MAKE AMENDMENTS TO THE REQUIREMENT OF PASSING CAPE

FUCK THAT. IF YOU HAD DONE THAT EARLIER, I WOULD HAVE PASSED MY SGT CAPE

3) Not really something they did after I failed SGT CAPE twice. but nonetheless, It needs to be mentioned

FUCKING TOLD ME OFF BECAUSE OF MY ADMIN SKILLS. WELL IT'S LOUSY ALRIGHT, BUT IT DID NOT COST ANYBODY ANYTHING.

BUT THE FUCKING X ON MY ATTENDANCE LIST WAS AN ADMIN ERROR AND BECAUSE THEY DID NOT RECEIVE MY MC WHEN I DID PASS IT TO THEM, MEANS THAT THEY CAN JUST PUT AN X ON MY ATTENDANCE. WELL FUCK THAT. THIS ADMIN ERROR COSTED ME MY FUCKING SGT RANK FOR A FUCKING YEAR, AND SCREWED MY CHANCES OF BECOMING A S/SGT BEFORE I PASSED OUT AND FUCKED ME UP BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER HAVE A CHANCE TO GET THE SPF NPCC BADGE EVER FUCKING AGAIN.

FUCK.

Blogged @ 1:14 AM
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Once again, I have the same old sinking feeling in my heart. It hurts, no doubt, but there is nothing much I can do about it. I really wonder what's the point of this. Why am I still holding on to this thing. Might as well give up. From the moment my parents convinced me that it was the right choice to put NPCC as my top choice as a cca, I have never regretted it. Till recently, well, that is, starting from 2010 June onwards. That was when everything went in a downwards spiral. First, It was PIR. I screwed it up badly, I suppose. Not blaming Mr Tan, but he made the CIs make sure that Darren and I would never have a chance to be in the 'big 4' position. At that time I had the same old sinking feeling in my heart. But now, I have gotten over it. I am even glad that that happened. Then when the results came out, I was rather happy. I got the role of Weapons Training Field Instructor, Secondary Three Squad NCO and Head, Publications Department. I couldn't ask for more.

But alas, unlike a fairytale story where everything ends perfectly, in the case of my story, or life. It did not. Apparently, CIs think that I'm not up to the standard of becoming an NCO. So, I was just a stand-in NCO. I couldn't say how sad I was. But it wasn't long before I ranted about it online. And since walls have ears, or in this scenario, anything put online is open to the public eye. CIs saw my rant. And this was when I had a little chat with one of the CI. Yay. So he encouraged me, told me not to give up, bla bla bla. Shortly after, another CI talked to me again. Telling me to be strong etc. bla bla bla. Same old tale. Well, to be honest, I cried quite a few times. Okay, correction, not just a few times, a lot of times. But anyway, back to the point, I felt the exact same sinking feeling that I'm feeling right now as I am typing out this post. And believe me, this feeling affects me more than anything I could imagine. The sinking feeling stayed in my heart for like, the entire month after the event happened. The event of me, not making it to a NCO position, that is.

So I was told that my actions will be monitored. Every. Single. Action. Will. Be. Monitored. Yay me. But I still did not give up. I still had the passion in me.

Let's just say things went pretty well from then on. When I say pretty well, I meant, I manage to save myself from certain CIs' wraith of fury. Managed to NOT get another 'demotion'

You can probably guess where is all this going. Well, I managed to not incur the wraith of the CIs until now. (: I'm SOOOO happy.

So here's the deal. Apparently, by not attending some PT regime, I have subjected myself, my soon to be ex-Exco, and my Unit in danger. Grave danger. Apparently, they think that I'm skipping the PT sessions. Yay me. Here's my side of the story.

Once upon a time, somebody, let's just say his name was Scott. Scott asked me, well apparently I am the squad messenger. Volunteered myself to send SMSes to like 40+ people. Every single time our squad needs to be notified of something. Can't believe I did that. Scott asked me to ask my squad about their 'calculated' NAPFA results. Well, he have to collate the data for a certain CI, you see. So I said, I got bronze. Tada the next thing I know, "All cadets who got bronze will have to attend a PT training session twice weekly during the November/December holidays' Oh no. I'm in it. Well, a few days past. I received my report book. First thing I checked, napfa results. I got a N/A. So, I went to ask Scott, "hey, do people who got N/A as a napfa result have to go for the PT sessions?" Nope was the reply. Okay.. So, I did not attend the PT sessions, as I had a N/A in my report book. Well, they collated the list with the names BEFORE the report book was out, that means, the list of people who were chosen to go to PT sessions were chosen based on what their 'calculated' results were. So, I was in that list. But I did not turn up.

Part 2:

I was in the list. I did not turn up. CIs were mad at me. yay. and now, here's the deal. If Scott can't give a good enough reason to one particular CI, I will be STRIPPED. of my position as a stand-in NCO. Yay me. and other than that, I will be suspended of my position as a head of publications department. Awesome isn't it? For somebody who have put so much effort into the CCA he likes, He's like the guy who gets treated the worst.

That's my rant for now. I mean, the reason behind the sinking feeling I have in my heart right now. Another thing though, If you chanced upon this blog, and you have been bored enough to read this entire chunk of rant from me, leave a comment in the tagboard. I would like to hear from you. Oh and PS: I'm risking myself. If any, and I do mean any, CIs manage to find out about this post, I will be more dead than a dead man I am now already. (: Cheers to you Blog.

Blogged @ 12:45 AM
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Friday, April 2, 2010

Yay. I feel bored. D: 2nd of April. 2010. NPAP preview is tomorrow. Happy April's Fool Day. okay, im one day late, but who cares. hmm. today is good friday . which reminds me of zhen xiang. Friday :D inside joke. but if u read Robinson Crusoe, u would probably know who's friday. i should be preparing my numbah 1 uniform nao. but who cares.. :\ gonna polish n burn my boots ltr. haiiz. mathes test is coming. D: one more week. :\ i should really prepare for the test.. indices, surds n logs. D: hmm. just one year and im on fb like almost everyday. Hahas, still rmbed d first time i knew fb. it was in sec 1. when i saw jopes using it, lol. (: emoticons . lol. okay im not making any sense. but who cares. :\ 2.4 run was yesterday. I had position number 13. My timing is 11.13 min :X which is badd.. if u ask me ><><>< listening to random songs now (: two is better than one - boys like girls. yesterday our class, 3i1 went to cheer for waterpolo B div, hci against acs . we were leading by d first half of the match but just within minutes before the match ended, acs scored another goal, which puts the score at 4:5 in favour of them. soo... yeahh. bobby, eddy n jarrett must be really disappointed. Hmm. after d match darryl and co. TOOK my bag and ran off. -.- and they board the bus without me. so i was bagless . O_O yeahh.. and zhen xiang followed me back to sch to retrieve it. :\ on d way back, we saw weilin sir. (: Our previous NCO in npcc. :D He's a nicee guy. :) hm. this is lyk.. umm.. a loooonng loooong time since i last updated this blog. :\ lyk 1 year + ? lol.

Blogged @ 3:27 PM
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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

LONG long time nvr blog liao. dun feel like blogging anymore. Sianz.

Blogged @ 2:32 PM
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Monday, March 2, 2009

1st quizzy for me tagged by isaac - aka. Iceaac ._.

the study of me!!!

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"

SHAWNOLOGY

***********FOOD-OLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
dno. i dun eat salad.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
Pizza hut. xD

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
Chicken Rice..?? since i told my parents to buy tt for me for dinneh for like almost daily?

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
chicken ham. mushroom, cheese, basically everything except pork, -same as isaac- Hi-5!

What do you like to put on your toast?
chocolate ftw!

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
2

What color of cell phone do you have?
White

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
RIGHT!

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
Like Duh.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
i dno..? my sch bag?
Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
Nah.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
Yeah, so i can prepare muahself for tt day.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
Nah, i'll prefer old one, namely Shawn. :D

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
nah, cuz if i did, i'll probably spend the $1000 trying to fix my tongue, mayb my throat too. My vocie might die on me too D:

***********DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
3 namely 2 pairs of crocs, 1 pair of kappa.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
Heheh.. tt's lke 1 month ago. John & i went suntec to buy prezzies for zx, den on our way thr after mrt station, we saw'em. b4 tt, john was like.. Hey Shawn according to the law.bla bla bla.. u need to wear socks when wearing npcc uni. I dao him. So i walked safely past the cops without getting caught for not wearing socks. :O and John got pwned. Again. :/

Last person you talked to?
If chat, tt's zong han, esle my mum.

Last person you hugged?
Darren. TT... zz he hugged me after assembly todae. And when we were on our way back from kap. He hugged me. ._. didn't wan to release me, so ken ken decided to give me a python squeeze. xD he relented, gave in, and decided not to hugg anybody esle after.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
summer. that's whats all year round in Singapore. get used to it -copied from isaac-

Holiday?
sc hols. Especially if thr r no npcc trainings in 'em

Day of the week?
Saturday

Month?
dno..? no favourite month i suppose.. I'm not bias. :D :/

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
Nah. Gossips/Rumours/Lies cant b spreaded. :D

Mood?
Happeh! Cuz, Bye Exams! Hi Sabbacticals!

What are you listening to?
98.7Fm FTW!
Watching?
comp screen. Duh.
Worrying about?
NPCC CAMPCRAFT BADGE RETEST :/

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
Bathroom.

What's the last movie you saw?
uh.. uh.. thiking..shud b wall-e if im not wrong. Didnt bother to go to watch the hitler thingy tt was on offer $5 ._. had to mug for science, u see..

Do you smile often?
not really.

***************QUESTIONS***************

1)Do you always answer your phone?
Yup.

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
hmmm.. funny qns.. mayb some emo ppl lyk Nicholas Chng who chatted with me at 3+am? :D

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
Blue~

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at SonicSonic?
dun geddit.

5) Do you own a digital camera?
Nah, sadly. i wannn.

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
Yeah.

7) Favorite Christmas song?
Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer?

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
psp :O cameraa. laptop?

9) Can you do push ups?
Standard push ups? yeah. :D

10) Can you do a chin up?
yup.

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
both. depends on the situation. :D

12) Do you have any saved texts?
yeah.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Nah.

14) Do you have an accent?
Nope.

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
i dun cry over songs.

16) Plans tonight?
sleep.

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yes.

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week.
gahhh :o foood?
19) Have you ever been given roses?
no.

20) Current worry?
i answered tt rite? npcc campcraft badge retest.

21) Current hate right now?
LEE ZI JING teh hornyy and super ego guy.

22) Met someone who changed your life?
hmm.. Mr grosse? i dno..?

23) How did you bring in the New Year?
dun geddit again.

24) What song represents you?
Welcome to my life.

25) Name three people who might complete this?
John, Zx, Gladys

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
trying to sleep.

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Sch ahead!

song tag

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 5 ppl at their tagboard to ask them to do this!
5. Bold the questions and with the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

How are you feeling today?
Numb - Linkin Park.
I'm feeling Numb. xD

Will you get far in life?
Get Down - some audition song..
i dno? ._. i'll get down in life? huh?

How do your friends see you?
Once Upon A Time - Good Charlotte
I'm a fairytale? lols.

Will you get married?
You're Already Gone - another audition song..
My future gf is alrdy gone? ._.

What is your best friend's theme song?
Chain Hang Low - ??
O.O random song! i dun really hav a best fren. But in the past, i treated sam as one? Hi samuel.

What is the story of your life?
Happy Birthday - The Click Five
my story is all abt my birthday. xD

What was high school like?
MockingBird - Eminem
It's like a MockingBird/Ibis/Zong Han. high sch is like zong han. Makes no sense.

How can you get ahead in life?
The Way I Are - Timbaland
I'm just the way i'm, i can get ahead in life just the way i'm. hahas.

What is the best thing about your friends?
Good Day - The Click Five
They see everyday as good days

What is in store for this weekend?
Beautiful Girls - Sean Kingston
uh.. beautiful girls are in store for the weekends? .____.

What song describes you?
Crazy - Simple Plan
I'm Crazy!

To describe your grandparents?
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
The 1st song i liked. xD
uh.. they have bad days.

How is your life going?
Makes Me Wonder - Maroon Five
My life is making me wonder how is my life going. Chimology. XD

What song will they play at your funeral?
Dirty little secrets - The All American Rejects
i have a lot of dirty little sercets that people found out after i died?

How does the world see you?
Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis
My love is bleeding? ._. random? lols

Will you have a happy life?
Umbrella - Rihanna
I need a umbrella cuz it will rain cuz i will have a bad life.

What do your friends really think of you?
Year 3000 - Busted
Im a future alien who is just visiting 2009 right now. ;/

Do people secretly lust after you?
Boulevard of brocken dreams - Green Day
People just lust after me in their dreams?

How can I make myself happy?
How To Save A Life - The Frays
I'm going to emo and tries to kill myself. That's why ppl r thinking of how to save a life(my?) LOL.

What should you do with your life?
In The End - Linkin Park
Cool. In the end, i'll do something?

Wil you ever have children?
Don't Cha - The Pussycat Dolls
I dno. o.o don't cha alrdy have some? LOLS.

okie.. now..
uh, tagg 5..
John, Zhong Xuan, Gladys, Luther, Jay

Blogged @ 9:24 PM
Don't let me go -

has been 1 week since i last posted.. xD too busy exploring facebook.. just created an account..

today chinese did another compo, then the fake Mr Chen released us late of bcos of ppl lyk Luther and Leslie.. they spamm their compo la. zzz.. TT

IS i got a1.. considered okok la in our class, cuz almost everybody got a1.
covie, leslie and i slackeed for art. D:
we learnt a new tongue twist during chinese drama today, the one tt goes 望夜空, 满天星,光闪闪,亮晶晶,好像那,小银灯,大大小小,密密麻麻,闪闪索索,数来数去数也数不清 hehe.. dun bother to write the whole thing down.. but u roughly get me.

uh. den science we did pratical again..
released late again. :O
den zx,covie,ken ken,me,john, and zi jing went kap. Kap ftw! ;D
nth to do so went thr eat macs lorhs.
jeremias' parents didnt allow him to go ><

upon reaching thr, i suggested to go opposite to bukit timah shopping centre to eat kfc den zx was like.. kfc is unhealthy :O

so we settled for macs.
went thr, den saw darren and darryl. and zhang yi.

so we crapped around, joked,talked,chatted, bla bla bla..
den went home le lorhs.
i pity darren, Ms Huang called him to get a haircut by today ._.

k dats it abt my pathetic life for today.
after dinneh will do a quiz thingy tagged by isaac.

Blogged @ 8:08 PM
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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

nth much happened todae.
had mathes test 2. uh, think i screwed up as usual.
during rs, i wasnt really concentrating. :S
fooling around.

Npcc. Sucks. TT
nowadays, always pump.
Pump.
Scold.
Pump.
Scold.
did abt 100+ crunches?
50+ pumping.
Now stomach quite pain. :O

Sec 2 Npcc squad blog is up and running. will b linking and correcting links tomorrow.

so many ppl advised me to apply for Icouncillor - in - training. ><
dunno whether Mr Low will help to nominate for me.
Who knows.. XD

Blogged @ 10:07 PM
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